


step out into the dark

by spock



Series: growing up together [2]
Category: Private Romeo (2011)
Genre: Best Friends, Canon Compliant, Canon Gay Relationship, Class Differences, Coda, Domestic, Growing Up Together, Jealousy, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Possessive Behavior, Post-Canon, University
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-14
Updated: 2014-03-14
Packaged: 2018-01-15 16:55:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1312285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spock/pseuds/spock
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Glenn puts up with a lot, Josh & Sam get wrapped up in their own heads more often than not, Gus quietly keeps them all from getting overwrought, Omar likes to bring up things others have forgot, and Carlos struggles but it isn't for nought.</p>
            </blockquote>





	step out into the dark

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ronandhermy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ronandhermy/gifts).



> ron gave me a list of coda ideas set post-film and asked that they be set through lens of _begin again_ 's 'verse. and here we are, some five months later with 7k! you don't have to read _begin again_ to get what's going on in these snippets — i think. i'm pretty sure, anyway.

  
**(one.** sam finds out about glenn's hazing.)

They take all the money they've made off their part-time jobs over winter break and pool it together. At the end of the day it's not all that much, but Sam doesn't want to borrow money off his dad and he's made Glenn promise not to take handouts from his own parents.

There's something inherently wrong about having your parents go halfsies with you on the summer sex den you're hoping to share with your boyfriend.

They luck out on Airbnb, find a place all to themselves right along the coast that isn't outrageous, even leaves them with enough that they'll be able to buy groceries and train fare and maybe even take a break from fucking to go see a local no-name indie band's gig if they feel like it. 

Sam and Glenn book it on one of their few free days before midterms; hitch a ride into town and bum wi-fi off Starbucks because the cell reception in their area is shit and they don't want anything to go wrong. 

Someone up there must love them because during mess the next day Sam's phone vibrates in his pocket. Usually he never risks having it on him, but the twenty-four hour window that they're forced to endure, waiting to see if the renters accepted their request, Sam couldn't bear not having it within arms reach at all times so that he'd know if they needed to scramble to request their second choice. 

Glenn follows him when he sneaks away into the bathrooms and they huddle in a stall together over Sam's iPhone's screen.

"Fuck yeah," Sam yelps. Glenn elbows him in the ribs to make him quiet down. "We got it!"

When the semester's done they rush back to their respective hometowns and barely stay night, making a quick turn around — dropping off their school gear and picking up duffles of summer clothes that they've had packed and waiting since they were last home in the winter, an unseen promise constantly in the back of their minds, waiting for them as they collected dust in their bedrooms.

Glenn arrives at their rented home before Sam and he can't stop himself from exploring, eager to rid himself of his nerves. He scopes out every nook and cranny, stashes travel- and full-sized bottles of lube and a handful of condoms in all the rooms where there's a flat surface or rug. He'd stocked up online, learned quickly that he was too shy to buy their sex supplies in person and that Sam was only slightly better than him, mostly for wont of desperation. If they run out then it'll be Sam who can go into town and restock. 

He's kicking sand along the beach when he gets an _almost there!_ text from Sam. Glenn reaches the front porch just as Sam's cab pulls up.

Sam tosses his duffle and backpack over his shoulder and waves off the cabbie's attempts to make change, too eager to get to Glenn. When they kiss it's to the sound of the car flipping-a-U, gravel crunching under its tires. 

They fuck. A lot. 

Sam blows Glenn in the front hallway and Glenn returns the favor by rimming him on the kitchen table. They jack one another off in the living room, making it last for as long as they can. Glenn makes them grilled cheese sandwiches in the oven because neither of them want to get dressed and go back into town to pick up real groceries, and after that they go deeper into the house and plop down onto the bed in the master bedroom to make out for a solid hour, nonstop, until their lips are red and slick and sore and chapped and they both are so keyed up it feels as if they could come untouched.

They fall asleep just before midnight, tired from the stress of finals just behind them and traveling and from all the sex, bodies aching in the best possible way.

Sam expects to sleep clear through the next afternoon, might not even wake until the sun is on its way to setting again.

That plan goes out the window when he wakes up to Glenn thrashing before the sun has even risen again, body broken out into a cold sweat and the red glowing numbers of the clock sitting across the room reading 4:13AM. 

Sam springs into action, flips on the bedside light and grabs Glenn by his shoulders, shaking him.

Glenn awakes with a gasp, eyes flitting around the room, unseeing. 

"Fuck," Glenn breathes. "Shit, fuck, sorry." He looks at Sam and takes in the worry etched over his face. Glenn raises his hand and gently pats his cheek as he works on catching his breath. "That hasn't happened in a while," he laughs at himself. 

"Do you remember what you were dreaming about?" Sam asks, winding an arm around Glenn's middle and pulling him so that Glenn's back rests against his front, Glenn's body seated between his spread thighs.

"Yeah," Glenn reaches down to rub Sam's leg, scratching at the hair there. "I'm asleep and then I wake in the dead of night to duct-tape being stretched over my mouth and my body being carried outside. I dreamed about it a couple times after it first happened, but nothing after that."

He gets out of bed and heads towards the in-suit, grabbing a towel and rubbing his body down; Glenn thinks about taking a shower to clean the sweat and come off of him, but he doesn't have the energy. Sam crawls across the bed so he can keep sight of him in the bathroom.

"It must be sleeping in a new place," Glenn shouts back towards the bedroom, giving himself a quick wash in the sink. "Us forgetting to turn on the fucking air conditioning probably didn't help. It's hot as balls in here and you crawling all over me made it that much worse," he complains. "It's a huge ass bed, Sam. Save the cuddlebug routine for winter."

Glenn flicks off the bathroom light as he reenters the bedroom, throwing a hand towel he rewet in Sam's on his way out. He stumbles into the hallway to turn down the thermostat while Sam gives himself a quick rubdown.

"How come you didn't tell them who did it?" Sam yells towards the hallway, dropping the towel onto the bedside floor. "Did you really not see who they were? I always figured it was Carlos. Maybe Adam, too."

Glenn groans loud and long out in the hallway. He eyes Sam up as he returns to the bed, not-so-subtly herding Sam onto the side of the bed where Glenn had been sleeping, where the sheets are soaked. They both lay back down and toss the duvet onto the floor at the foot of the bed, making do with just the sheet. 

For a while the only sound between them is the hum of the air conditioner kicking on. Sam waits him out until Glenn breaks.

"It was Josh and Adam," Glenn says eventually, going for diplomatic and uncaring, as if he hadn't just had a nightmare about something that happened over a year ago. 

Sam's silent for a few moments, eyes wide and lips parted before he explodes into motion, sitting up on his knees.

"Are you fucking kidding me," his voice breaks halfway through and he wraps an arm around Glenn's shoulders, pulling him into his chest, his face pressed into Sam's armpit. Just as quickly he's dropping Glenn back onto the mattress and diving over his body for the bedside table he'd originally claimed as his own, yanking his phone off its charger.

Glenn squirms out from under Sam's torso while Sam's doing his best to remember his passcode through his rage, fingers refusing to hit the right buttons, he's that worked up. Glenn snags the phone out from Sam's grip and flops back onto the bed, stretching the arm holding Sam's phone way out over the ledge as he uses the other to hold Sam away from it, trapping him against his chest. 

"Why didn't you tell me?" Sam demands, grappling at Glenn's arms to get his phone back. "I'm going to murder him and then fucking — fucking — _spank_ you!" 

"Wow, okay, didn't expect that," Glenn admits with a pained laugh as Sam catches him in the ribs with one of his boney elbows. He cranes his neck back to make sure the comforter's where he thinks it is and drops Sam's phone down onto it.

Sam makes a move to spring of the bed, but Glenn's well versed in Sam's wrestling moves by now. He brings his legs up and wraps them around Sam's waist, effectively pinning him against Glenn's body; the only space between their chests appears when then inhale, and even then it's a few centimeters at best.

"Calm down, it was like two fucking years ago. Let it go," Glenn says. "Josh already apologized, anyway," he tacks on.

Sam shoots him a look, like he can't fathom a universe where Josh would admit to any wrong doing, let alone apologize for it. Which. Yeah.

"Alright, he _basically_ apologized. Sorta. And I forgive him, so it's all behind us now." 

Sam still looks as if Gus will have sole-ownership of the best friend title in his life for a good long while, but he's stopped trying to break away from Glenn's hold of him, which counts for something. Josh can pout over being in Sam's doghouse for a couple months. It's Carlos' problem, not Glenn's. 

Glenn can feel the way their grinding has impacted Sam, feels his half-chubbed dick pressing against his thigh, feels his own responding in kind.

Glenn remembers something being said about him deserving a spanking and he's interested in cashing in on it.

  
**(two.** a holiday meet-up post-mckinley graduation.)

They cause a slight scene at the airport.

Usually they're not as bad as they'd been back when they were in the thick of their teens, but. 

Sam was selected for an exchange with the Royal Army and has been in the UK for months, leaving him and Glenn with nothing but phone calls, FaceTime, and Skype sessions, and so when they finally see one another as Sam's clearing customs Glenn just has to kiss him. A real kiss; has no patience for public decency or indecency. It's the longest they've ever gone without seeing one another and Glenn's suddenly aware that it's just a taste of what has yet to come.

They pull apart once the catcalls and whistles come from more than one person, at least.

Glenn holds Sam's hand the entirety of their drive back, the two of them shifting the gearstick together when the need arises. 

Glenn's parents have flocked to warmer climates, more adventurous during the holidays now that their only child is grown up and away at college for the majority of the year. They left Glenn with full rein of the house as one of his Christmas gifts. 

Carlos, Josh, and Gus are waiting for them there, a homecoming gift for Sam that Glenn's somehow managed to keep secret. It's the first surprise he's successfully carried out in his life. 

Glenn feels bad asking for asking them to come, but they're Sam's friends, and they love him, and they have to miss him as much as Glenn himself does — with the exception of Carlos, obviously, but even he'll have to appreciate what seeing Sam will do for Josh, and there's no way he'd let Josh and Sam interact without him there to make sure it stays strictly platonic. 

Omar and he have spent most of their break bumming around Omar's home, half-assidly doing their summer reading and one-upping one another in their continued quest to discover the most obscure major that they can switch into with the hopes that they'll be in university forever and never be forced to get real jobs. 

From what he can gather from Gus' vague e-mails, he's been working since his semester ended, saving up and applying for scholarships with plans of transferring into whatever four-year that'll take him and offer the best package come fall.

Glenn assumes Josh and Carlos must have been working as well, knows that they need money for more than just tuition. The partial-scholarship West Point allotted Josh helps. Carlos shelved his pride just enough to accept family student housing benefits, but all that means is that Carlos works full time to keep them going and Josh helps out by picking up side-jobs during breaks such as this. 

Glenn knows that Josh's family can't help them out and that Carlos' family wouldn't even if they could, so Glenn feels like shit for asking them to take time off to come down and visit, even if they've known Sam longer than Glenn himself has. But still he'd asked, and all three of them had accepted before he'd even finished with his first _but really, if you can't make it, it's fine!_. 

They park in the garage, Glenn making a big deal over carrying Sam's bags in for him. Sam tries to kiss him a good twenty times on the five foot walk to the door that'll let them into the house, whining every time Glenn dodges away from him. The assholes wait inside don't need any more ammunition to tease them over how they can't keep their hands off one another, though, and Sam'll be glad Glenn denied him once he realizes why he did it in the first place. 

When they enter the kitchen Josh nearly clotheslines Sam in the throat with how desperately he grabs for him. 

"Welcome back to the land of freedom you transplant-limey fuck!" Josh shouts, pulling Sam into his body. Sam freezes for half a second before he relaxes into Josh's arms, tucks his head underneath Josh's. Sam sticks out his arm and grabs at the air.

"Gus, I know you've gotta be here too, you fucking shadow. Bring it in!" Josh's laugh presses against the skin of Josh's neck. 

Gus shuffles over and gets enveloped into the hug, the three of them half-quicksand-sucking-in-its-latest-victim, half-Matryoshka-doll.

Glenn leaves them to it, nods a greeting to Carlos where he's glowering in a far corner of the kitchen — staring at the reunion taking place in front of him while still doing his best to make it seem as if he isn't looking that way at all — and heads into the living room, makes his way upstairs to drop Sam's bags off in Glenn's childhood bedroom.

When he gets back downstairs, Gus, Josh, and Sam are all still standing in the middle of the kitchen, snuggled into one another. Glenn's tempted to leave them until they've had their fill, but Carlos looks murderous and on closer inspection Gus seems to be planning his escape, so he figures he should save them all from themselves.

"Alright, no orgies in my parents house. You don't want to hug the weekend away."

Gus takes that as his cue to break away, slipping out from under the stranglehold Josh had his head in and slopping towards the fridge, fishing out a bottle of wine. 

"I'll hug for as long as I goddamn want," Josh grouses, turing his Gus-hugging arm into a second Sam-hugging on, pulling him even tighter against him. "Plus, if you can't have an orgy at home, where the fuck are you supposed to have one?"

Omar comes in through the back door just then, letting himself in with the spare set of keys he's had since they were twelve. 

"Woah, when did this change from a 'welcome home' party to an orgy?" Omar asks as he shucks his coat. "I feel like a change like that should have been slipped into the Facebook Event thing! Are Gus and I supposed to be refs? Do we hold Carlos back while Josh and Sam finally fuck through their feelings for one another?"

  
**(three.** josh thinks about coming out to his family.)

Josh is pretty sure his family knows he's gay.

Pretty sure.

He's never faked having even the slightest interest in girls, is the thing. Never even had close friend who was a girl. In middle school he regularly hooked up with a guy rumored to have this biggest dick in school — Josh hasn't seen every single one of his classmates dicks, but over two years sharing locker rooms and shower blocks through PE and various sports means that he'd bet he's seen at least half of them, and even though he doesn't know what they all are like hard he's confident in confirming that rumors of Roger's endowment weren't unfounded — and never really cared if anybody saw them slinking off to the gents to hook up. 

Josh is sure that his younger brother knows he's gay. Maybe even their second-youngest brother, too. 

Josh hid his porn mags — not because he was ashamed but because he wasn't a douchebag and it is room sharing one-oh-one to hide your spankbank and not jerk it when your little brothers can actually tell you're doing it. 

They still needed to be accessible from his bedside, though, and for a while there before Josh hit his growth spurt he and his brother had been able to share clothes. Josh is sure he must've stumbled across it around that time, if not after Josh left for McKinley and was forced to leave his porn collection behind. 

That just leaves his older sister, younger sister, baby brother, and maybe his second youngest brother. Maybe. Josh still thinks he must have stumbled into Josh's porn sometime. 

He doesn't care if his mom or dad knows, so there's no pressure to clue them in one way or another.

For a while he'd though that complaining about how gross Sam and Glenn act around one another would clue them in, because what kind of straight guy has one of his best friends be gay? But then he'd remembered Gus and, well, both of his best friends are gay. 

Josh does his best to slip Carlos into conversation wherever it feels natural the entire summer he's back home. In the fall he's leaving for West Point with Sam, Carlos coming with them — which _holy shit_ he never would have expected in a million years, because Carlos actually fucking let Josh tell the school that they're together and they actually hooked Carlos up with a place to stay because they've been together for four damn years and that technically makes them sorta domestic partners, which, jesus — and he figures you're supposed to clue your family in before you leave for college, otherwise they think it's a phase or some shit. 

That may only apply for WASPy, liberal, rich asshole families like Sam and Glenn and sorta-Omar's, though. He's going off of tv shows here, which basically means he's fucked.

Maybe he'll just buy Carlos a train ticket so they can hook up for the weekend. It's been a month since they last saw one another and Josh can only live with phone sex for so long. If his family happens to walk in on them while they're fucking then two birds, one damn stone.

  
**(four.** sam's roommate at west point wonders just who in the hell glenn is.)

Sam doesn't get Josh assigned as his roommate. Josh is more than happy to fill Sam in on how much celebratory sex Carlos bestowed upon Josh when he relayed this news, the level of detail so intricate that Sam almost feels like he was the one who fucked Carlos in Josh's stead.

The guy who does room with Sam is decent, and Josh is thankfully assigned to the same dorm building as him, just three floors down, and Gus is always quick to text him back at almost any hour of the night, even though they're literally states apart, so Sam figures he lucked out pretty well. 

His roommate is neat and doesn't mind Josh barging into their room at any given time. He's got his own set of friends that he leaves to hang out with, so they basically only really see one another just as curfew strikes and they both fall into bed or during the few random room inspections each month. 

Sam's made some friends in his classes, but they don't really interact outside of them. His long distance relationship with Gus is difficult at times, but manageable; Sam makes a point of recapping his and Josh's days so that he doesn't feel too left out. 

He's fine with having Josh and Carlos as his only real-life friends, deals alright with playing third wheel on their dates-that-Carlos-refuses-to-call dates, lets Josh flirt at him and lets Carlos' wrath roll off his back with an ease he perfected through high school. 

Being so far away from Glenn is what kills him, though. They went from living in one another's pockets to suddenly, absolutely _not_ so quickly that sometimes Sam feels like he has a phantom whiplash. They talk constantly, and Sam finds himself talking _about_ Glenn more and more because it makes him feel like Glenn's not hundreds of miles away.

Josh makes fun of him for it: _Glenn says this. Glenn says that. This one time, at band camp, with Glenn._ Sam has heard them all. Carlos once jabbed that Sam sounded like a single-serving missionary, spreading the Word of Glenn and that unfortunately stuck. Whenever he goes on about something Glenn said or did for too long they call it 'preaching Glennism'.

His roommate has never complained about it, but after a while Sam realizes that he fills the awkward silences between them during those first few months of getting-to-know-you regaling stories of what Glenn was doing at his university and imparting little anecdotes that Glenn had shared with him during their last near-daily phone call. 

He's never actually been in their room when Sam's talking to Glenn, at least. 

Except for when he finally does stumble in on the two of them, at the least opportune time, too. 

Maybe Sam should have listened to Josh and put a sock on the door.

Sam has his back to the door, and even if he didn't he wouldn't be paying attention to it anyway, headphones jammed in his ears with his hand wrapped around his cock, matching his strokes with Glenn's through the screen of his laptop. 

Glenn spots Sam's roommate before they can embarrass themselves too much, leaps out of the frame and shouts for Sam to lock his fucking door. 

Sam smiles back at him, sheepish as he shoves his pillow onto his lap and half-shuts the lid of his laptop, because even though he's mortified beyond all belief there's no way in hell he's letting this guy see his boyfriend naked. The constellation of moles that cover Glenn's body are better than their cousins in the sky, Sam's sure of it. 

His roommate does a quick one-eighty and steps back out of the room, yanking the door closed behind him. 

Sam listens to Glenn cuss him out through one of his headphones as he quickly grabs a pair of sweats to pull on, slipping his arms through a hoodie and zipping it mid-way up his chest. 

"Sorry man, you can come back in now," he shouts once he's sure Glenn's dressed too. When his roommate reenters their room his face is beet-red and splotchy. 

Sam unplugs his headphones so that Glenn's on speaker and says, "Uh, so Eirk, this is Glenn, my boyfriend. Glenn, Erik." Through the monitor Sam can tell that Glenn's cheeks are flaming too, but if there's one thing Glenn's always been able to do, it's smile, no matter how awkward this situation. 

"Hi, Erik. Sorry we had to meet like this. I've heard a lot about you," Glenn hedges. 

Erik drags Sam's desk chair over to the bed, ducking down so his face is in view of the built-in webcam and waves back as he takes a seat.

Even through his embarrassment, Erik manages an exasperated, "Hey, dude. I have literally heard _everything_ about you."

  
**(five.** glenn introduces sam to his family.)

Glenn plans out a whole weekend for Sam to get to know his parents, but as with all things concerning his parents time and himself, it doesn't quite work out.

They manage a dinner at least, even though it's a rushed one. 

His dad quizzes Sam about the military and asks what he wants to do after graduating from McKinley; gets visibly impressed when he learns that Sam's gotten tentative-but-still-early acceptance into West Point even though they're only juniors, something Glenn has been bragging about to his parents since Sam told _him_ — and Glenn was the first to know, was forwarded the e-mail and had his phone blown up with Sam's texts and calls before Sam's own father, before Josh or Gus, and Sam made him swear on their love for one another that he would never ever tell Josh that Josh wasn't the first one Sam called when he got the news — and apparently they blocked Glenn out, but Glenn learned a long time ago to pick his battles when it came to his parents.

His mom comments on how handsome Sam is and asks about Sam's family. Sam's dad makes nearly double what Glenn's mom and dad make combined; upper, upper middle class to the Mangan's straight-down-the-middle class. Sam was raised knowing how to let people know that his net worth surpassed theirs in the most tactful way possible, and Glenn's mom is suitably impressed that Sam could take care of Glenn even if his military career stalemates or he doesn't finish college.

The text that summons his mother away comes midway through dessert. She excuses herself and gives her pleasantries to Sam one last time, telling him to enjoy himself while he's visiting, before leaving the restaurant. 

His parents drive everywhere in two separate cars for just this very reason, and even though they promised him more than once that there wasn't anything that could tear them away from Sam's visit, it looks like it was a good idea they kept up their routine after all. 

His father lasts until they get back to the house, at least. Just after they sit down on the couch to watch something together before heading to bed his phone chimes. 

Not unlike the car thing, his parents always keep a spare bag packed and in their trunks, so all Glenn's dad has to do is press a kiss to Glenn's forehead and shake Sam's hand before he's out the door and on his way to the airport.

"That went pretty good, right?" Sam asks as they listen to Glenn's dad pull out of the driveway and onto the street, the house pretty much silent otherwise. They hadn't even gotten past the AppleTV home screen. "I mean, they liked me and talked to me, and they at least made it through the entrées."

"That is something," Glenn admits, embarrassed that his parents had bailed on them and pissed at himself that he actually feels let down that they'd done exactly what he though he'd prepared himself for. "Mom probably wants us to get married before we leave our cockstupid phase and you realize a prenup is probably a good idea, and Dad would try to talk us out of it on the sly. Awkwardly suggest an open relationship."

Glenn sighs and the picks up the controller, selecting the Netflix app. It isn't a big deal, he tells himself. It'll mean more to him that Omar's parents like Sam, which Glenn knows they will. Still, Glenn can't help but feel let down. "I kinda wish I'd dated someone before you, so I could have something to compare their reactions to, at least."

The look on Sam's face is priceless. Glenn has to kiss him. It takes a while for Sam to get over the idea of something else being with Glenn, but Glenn's fine with kissing him until it happens.

"Well, with them gone we can fuck all over the house," Sam says eventually. "That's a pretty decent rebellious act, right? We can even do it on their bed. Would that be too weird?" 

It probably will be, but Glenn's willing to give it a go anyway.

  
**(six.** gus and omar bemoan their idiot best friends and bond over fatty bribes.)

Omar sort of decides that they have to be friends. Gus mostly just goes with it.

Gus is also pretty sure that Josh doesn't realize that he's friends with Omar, because if he knew he'd probably be just as clingy with Gus as he is with Sam; Gus doesn't need that in his life. He's glad that Carlos doesn't seem to be threatened by him in the same crazed, jealous way he feels towards Sam, which would definitely happen if Josh was suddenly attached to him the way he is on Sam.

It's kind of nice having a secret friend, anyway. Gus has to deal with two sets of gross couples; all of a sudden both his best friends are shacked up with boyfriends in nearly the same weekend, although apparently Josh and Carlos have been a thing for a while. 

Omar's walked in on Sam and Glenn rounding second base more than once, though, which goes to show that Gus' life certainly could be worse. 

He's developed a system where he's willing to vacate Sam and his room to either Josh or Sam in return for whatever contraband, not-even-close-to-being-on-their-meal-plan shit they can sneak in for him. 

Gus shares his spoils with Omar. They'll commandeer an empty classroom and make fun how dumb Glenn and Sam are around each other and take bets on how long it'll take before Carlos screams his love for Josh from the rooftops, just so that he can make sure that nobody steals Josh away from him, even though nobody would ever want to, because Josh is an even bigger freak than Carlos is. 

The one thing Omar loves to talk about more than anything else, though, is Sam's competitiveness towards _him_.

Gus figures that it is pretty funny. Whenever Glenn brings up the things he and Omar did as kids Sam's face twists up like he's just sucked a lemon but doesn't want anyone to think he can't handle the tartness of it. 

Glenn does his best to be diplomatic about it, but Sam's always desperate to know everything about Glenn, and all of Glenn's history is wrapped up in Omar. Gus thinks that Sam's a masochist, but he's glad for everyones sake that Glenn only lived sixteen years before meeting Sam. He doesn't think Sam would've been able to handle missing out on any more of Glenn's life than that. 

Once Omar realizes what's going on, he starts laying it on thick. 

Omar regales them with stories of how he and Glenn shared their first kiss together, afraid that some girl would steal it from them like what had happened to their classmate Jimmy earlier that morning. Recounts all the sleepovers and tells about the summer when Omar's eldest brother decided that he wanted to be a priest and made Omar and Glenn put on their nicest clothes so that he could marry them. 

"I wonder if that actually counts? He's a pastor now. Do you think god accepts retroactive marriages," Omar muses aloud, just to fuck with Sam. Glenn was in the bathroom, and Sam was too proud to ask Glenn about it later that night, not wanting to let Glenn know that the possibility bothered him just on the off-chance retroactive marriages actually turned out to be true and there was nothing Sam could do about it beyond begging Glenn to get a divorce, even though it obviously did.

Sam sulks for a week until Glenn gets the story out of him and forces Omar to admit that his brother isn't actually in the clergy, so there's no way the marriage would ever be accepted, retroactive or otherwise.

Gus figures that the best thing to happen in Omar's life thus far comes about during a game of truth-or-dare. Gus hadn't even realized what he was walking into, just wanted to know a bit more about his friends and this aspect of themselves that was different from himself.

Omar perked up when he first asked the question to Josh. He looked like he was just about ready jizz himself with Gus asked the same thing to Sam. Gus figures it's amazing Omar doesn't do a celebratory dance when Gus finally has the chance to ask Glenn after he picks truth.

"How did you first know you were gay?"

"Um, it was actually at a sleepover at Omar's when we were like, seven? We were getting out of the bath, which we shared until we were like fourteen, I swear to god, we were brought up like I was his long lost cousin until I realized it was weird for best friends to bathe together!," Glenn blushes. "But, one day we were getting out of the tub and I realized that I thought Omar looked best naked. Or I liked seeing him best naked." 

"I still do look my best naked," Omar cuts in, nudging Sam with his elbow. Sam looks like he doesn't know whether to laugh or cry. "Even today, tell them, Glenn!"

"You're a freak," Glenn says, deadpan. He dodges the slap Omar sends his way and continues on. "Anyway, the sad part is I admitted this to Omar when we were like fourteen, and he asked me if I'd like for him to jerk off for me so I could make sure."

Josh laughs and Carlos looks about five-seconds away from leading Josh back to their room so he can avoid being asked Gus' question of the night — Gus hadn't even planned on asking Carlos, he values his life too much. Gus knows that if Carlos does something hilariously endearing like asking Josh to jack-off for him so that he can make sure that he's gay, Gus will hear all about it in the morning. 

It's for the best that Carlos never knows just how much Josh tells him about their romantic life. Gus isn't sure that Carlos could deal with knowing that someone other than Josh knows that he's kinda a softie, in his own way.

Once Josh and Carlos leave, the four of them are left in silence. Omar looks smug, obviously waiting for something. Glenn's getting ready to take his turn spinning the bottle when Sam finally snaps and falls right into Omar's trap.

"So, did you?" Sam asks, desperately; knows he's right where Omar wants him but can't see any other way past his desperate need to _know_.

"Did I want?" Glenn parrots, confused. Gus feels bad for all of them, except Omar. He's a total dick.

"Did you have him masturbate in front of you?" Sam clarifies through gritted teeth. Omar starts laughing as Sam says _masturbate_ , utterly gleeful.

"What!" Glenn exclaims, blushing so hard that even his nose goes bright red, something Gus has only seen when Sam smiles at him or kisses him or, exists near him, really. It doesn't really happen when he's embarrassed for non-being-in-love-with-Sam reasons, and Gus realizes that Omar got the both of them good this time. "No! Jesus, Sam, he's like my brother." Omar is still laughing away, so Glenn tacks on, "Besides, his dick isn't even that big, I don't think I would've been able to see what was going on with his hand wrapped around it."

Omar stops laughing instantly, mouth gaping. 

"Who the fuck taught you how to make comebacks? Was it Neff? I've been trying to fucking fix your lame ass skills for years and _now_ you've suddenly got game? And you use it _against me_!?" Omar's voice gets higher the more he talks, until it's that Gus can't hold back his laughter anymore. 

He drops onto the floor, rollings back and forth and through the blur of his tears he sees Glenn pull Sam into his lap so they can start making out, hears them obnoxiously start moaning to drown out Omar's continued bitching and finds himself laughing even harder, his sides aching.

  
**(seven.** carlos hates that glenn/sam are able to be open, but is cognizant that his hatred is actually envy.)

Carlos knows that comparing whatever it is that he and Josh have to the epic Glenn-and-Sam love story that he's unfortunately had a front row seat for is a fools quest, but it's hard not to.

They're everything Carlos isn't; a modern fairy tale that Carlos couldn't even hope to aspire to, even if his family wouldn't probably, actually, literally kill him if they found out about it.

Sam's going to be a military hero, could probably retire as head secret serviceman to the President and see it as a step-down in status, that's how high up he'll go. 

Glenn's smart as hell and even if he wasn't, Sam could afford to support them both. They met young, they're each others firsts in every way that matters and will probably be married and with baby in one way or another before Sam's first deployment. 

And that's just Plan A. They have the money and brains and faith and fucking skin-color to afford them all the backup plans in the world, all the way to Plan Z and probably a few numbered plans tossed in there for good measure and Carlos just —doesn't.

He'd never really cared what happened to him, didn't want to dream up a future that he'd let himself down by failing to achieve it; has always thought that living day-to-day, taking it one step at a time, would be the best way to get away from his family and maybe even towards living in a place where having a boyfriend wouldn't be such a big deal. Unlike the other guys in his neighborhood, there's no risk of him knocking someone up and getting trapped. As long as he keeps to himself and isn't stupid he can save up and move on.

Carlos wants to be better for Josh, though. He wants it so bad he can taste it. Wants it so badly he's willing to stamp down the instincts telling him that he's playing with fire so that he can make sure that he gives it to Josh. 

For the first couple months all he can do is what Josh asks of him, what Josh starts. If Josh grabs his hand in public it takes all his willpower to not pull away, but it gets easier each time Josh does it. The same goes with each time Josh kisses him with other people around, hugs him, gives him compliments.

Josh isn't a bully about it. At first he only does it around Glenn and Sam, which is awkward, but Carlos has seen them do worse and they're gayer than Josh and Carlos could ever be, so it's not too bad. Then Josh starts up in front of Gus and Omar, and in his mind Carlos knows that they're Josh's friends — can admit to himself that they're his friends too, even if he didn't want them at first — but it's still hard to kiss his boyfriend in front of two straight guys at their goddamn military academy. 

He knows that Josh gets where he's coming from. Josh is — Josh is everything Carlos wishes he could be. Josh does what he wants and only censors himself to the degree that common sense in their respective neighborhoods demands and Carlos wants to reach that point too. 

He starts taking Josh's hand before Josh tries to take his, and kisses him in front of Glenn and Sam and Gus and Omar and strangers too, because he's an adult who pays taxes and votes, so fuck them. He compliments Josh and although he can't seem to get his jealousy under control when what feels like so much as a fucking stray cat looks at Josh too long, Josh actually seems to like it, so it isn't something he actually works on moving past.

Josh is worth Carlos being possessive over.

He makes sure to tell Josh that, too.

Carlos moves into the house the fucking US Military gives him so that he can be close to Josh, keep Josh sane and willing to die for god and country, except that Carlos isn't going to let Josh die or even get hurt, not for any reason, and if the terrorists or whatever have a problem with that then they can take it up with Carlos.

He gets two jobs, one at a garage and another at the records & deeds office downtown, takes on as many shifts as he can and is always willing to work back-to-backs and overtime. The only time Carlos turns down work are the weekends when Josh is granted leave for more than a day and can stay at their place during its duration. 

After their first year Carlos realizes that they actually have a decent amount saved up in their joint bank account, even with the monthly allotment Carlos has taking to sending to Josh's siblings. It's the first time he or Josh have actually had more than fifty dollars to their name that wasn't already owed to an upcoming bill. 

Josh stops by the bank and withdraws four thousand of it in cold hard Jackson's. When he gets home he spreads the bills over their bed and fucks Carlos on top of them all weekend. 

Carlos gathers them up when it's time for Josh to go back to campus and together they count the money a good four times, making sure they haven't lost any of it before taking it back to the bank and redepositing it into their account.

While they're visiting at Glenn's house during Sam's Christmas homecoming, Carlos pulls Glenn aside when everyone else is busy arguing over what they should do for the evening. 

"Hey," Carlos starts, feeling ashamed but powering through it, a sensation he's become well acquainted with over the past year. It takes all his strength to push down his pride and ask, "there're two colleges nearby where we live, could you help me fill out the applications and shit for them?"

The way Glenn's looking at him has Carlos wanting to kill him. Honestly and truly, all the way into the pit of his stomach, if Glenn died right now, Carlos would be glad for it. He knows that Glenn thinks of them as friends, or at the very least brothers-in-arms because they're army husbands or some shit, and he probably thinks that it's great that Carlos wants to better himself, but that's not what it's about at all.

Carlos is already doing better than he ever imagined. He actually has jobs where he was able to take time off without them making threats of firing him, because he actually has _vacation time_ allotted to him. He has money in the bank account _that he shares with his part-time, live-in-boyfriend_ , the same boyfriend who's going to fucking West Point, which is paying for the place Carlos stays at because they recognize that Carlos is important to Josh and want him to stick around because it's in Josh's best interest that Carlos is in his life. He hasn't spoken to his family in years and instead of feeling lonely and soul crushed like he'd always worried ex-communication from them would feel, he's actually happier than he's ever been. 

He could give up right this very second and still be doing better than basically everyone he's ever known, and he'd be okay with that too. But when Carlos thinks about Josh he wants to do better. And when he thinks about the-Carlos-that-Josh-sees, he wants to be better than that guy, too. 

Carlos isn't sure if he and Josh have the same fairy-tale-love that Glenn and Sam do, but maybe they don't need it. Carlos doesn't know what that love feels like, but if it isn't as all-encompassing and mountain-moving as what he feels for Josh? Then they can keep it.

**Author's Note:**

> sorry this took so long! i hope it was worth the wait. 
> 
> in **(one)** , i figure the [place](http://anonym.to/?https://www.airbnb.com/rooms/2061581) they stay at is similar to [one](http://anonym.to/?https://www.airbnb.com/rooms/894862) of these [three](http://anonym.to/?https://www.airbnb.com/rooms/21060).


End file.
